Scott County DFL
you have to believe to be a Republican...
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime,
unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an
illness and you need our prayers for your recovery
2. The United States should get out of the United Nations,
and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N.
resolutions against Iraq.
3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business
and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use
marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.
4. "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers
and moving their jobs to India.
5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her
own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions
affecting all mankind without regulation.
6. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals
and Hillary Clinton.
7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise
the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits
and combat pay.
8. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless
you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.
9. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't
10. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our
longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
11. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of
the public at heart.
12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy.
Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
13. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are
junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad
guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when
Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush
needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
A president lying about an extramarital affair is an
impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support
for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
16. Government should limit itself to the powers named
in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages
and censoring the Internet.
17. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle
trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of
18. You support states' rights, which means Attorney
General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter
initiatives they have a right to adopt.
19. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national
interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
20. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is
communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital
to a spirit of international harmony.
10 Reasons to be a Democrat
can add more to a conversation that just "ditto."
the bad things happening in our country today
are pretty much not our fault.
never need to explain what George W. Bush really
meant to say.
our opponents, Democrats believe political campaigns
should be about raising consciousness more than
simply raising cash.
say what they mean. No reason to learn the language
of secret, coded messages.
the only political party that really knows how
it comes to equality, Democrats practice what
we preach. That's why we not only make fun of
our opponents, we make fun of ourselves.
never need to defend the irrational calculus than
you can cut revenues, increase spending, and still
balance the budget.
don't need a pencil to connect the dots.
never need to caucus with Newt
us to send us your own top 10 reasons for
being a Democrat.
W. Bushspeak (Bushisms)
these and weep. Or laugh. Yes, he's our president. But just
we didn't vote for him!
honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who
had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." George
W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004
"My job is to, like, think beyond the immediate."
George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 21, 2004
"This has been tough weeks in that country."
George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 13, 2004
"Obviously, I pray every day there's less casualty."
George W. Bush, Fort Hood, Texas, April 11, 2004
"Earlier today, the Libyan government released Fathi
Jahmi. She's a local government official who was imprisoned
in 2002 for advocating free speech and democracy."
George W. Bush, citing Jahmi, who is a man, in a speech
paying tribute to women reformers during International
Women's Week, Washington, D.C., March 12, 2004
"The march to war hurt the economy. Laura reminded me
a while ago that remember what was on the TV screens
- she calls me, 'George W.' - 'George W.' I call her,
'First Lady.' No, anyway - she said, we said, march
to war on our TV screen." George W. Bush, Bay
Shore, New York, Mar. 11, 2004
"In my judgment, when the United States says there will
be serious consequences, and if there isn't serious
consequences, it creates adverse consequences."
George W. Bush, Meet the Press, Feb. 8, 2004
"See, one of the interesting things in the Oval Office
- I love to bring people into the Oval Office - right
around the corner from here - and say, this is where
I office, but I want you to know the office is always
bigger than the person." George W. Bush, Washington,
DC, Jan. 29, 2004
"More Muslims have died at the hands of killers than
- I say more Muslims - a lot of Muslims have died -
I don't know the exact count - at Istanbul. Look at
these different places around the world where there's
been tremendous death and destruction because killers
kill." George W. Bush, Washington, DC, Jan. 29,
"Then you wake up at the high school level and find
out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling."
George W. Bush, Washington, DC, Jan. 23, 2004
"I was a prisoner too, but for bad reasons."
George W. Bush, to Argentine President Nestor Kirchner,
on being told that all but one of the Argentine delegates
to a summit meeting were imprisoned during the military
dictatorship, Monterrey, Mexico, Jan. 13, 2004
"One of the most meaningful things that's happened to
me since I've been the governor - the president - governor
- president. Oops. Ex-governor. I went to Bethesda Naval
Hospital to give a fellow a Purple Heart, and at the
same moment I watched him-get a Purple Heart for action
in Iraq - and at that same - right after I gave him
the Purple Heart, he was sworn in as a citizen of the
United States - a Mexican citizen, now a United States
citizen." George W. Bush, Washington, DC, Jan.
"And if you're interested in the quality of education
and you're paying attention to what you hear at Laclede,
why don't you volunteer? Why don't you mentor a child
how to read?" George W. Bush, St. Louis, Mo.,
Jan. 5, 2004
"[T]he best way to find these terrorists who hide in
holes is to get people coming forth to describe the
location of the hole, is to give clues and data."
George W. Bush, Washington, DC, Dec. 15, 2003
"See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations
don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop
weapons of mass destruction." George W. Bush,
Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003
"Our country puts $1 billion a year up to help feed
the hungry. And we're by far the most generous nation
in the world when it comes to that, and I'm proud to
report that. This isn't a contest of who's the most
generous. I'm just telling you as an aside. We're generous.
We shouldn't be bragging about it. But we are. We're
very generous." George W. Bush, Washington, DC,
July 16, 2003
Day in the Life of Joe Middle Class Republican
gets up at 6:00 am to prepare his morning coffee. He
fills his pot full of good clean drinking water because
some liberal fought for minimum water quality standards.
He takes his daily medication with his first swallow
of coffee. His medications are safe to take because
some liberal fought to insure their safety and work
All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his
employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers
fought their employers for paid medical insurance, now
Joe gets it too.
He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs this
day. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some liberal
fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.
Joe takes his morning shower reaching for his shampoo;
his bottle is properly labeled with every ingredient
and the amount of its contents because some liberal
fought for his right to know what he was putting on
his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath.
The air he breathes is clean because some tree hugging
fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our
He walks to the subway station for his government subsidized
ride to work; it saves him considerable money in parking
and transportation fees. You see, some liberal fought
for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone
the opportunity to be a contributor.
Joe begins his work day; he has a good job with excellent
pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and
vacation because some liberal union members fought and
died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays
these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want
his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the
job or becomes unemployed he'll get a worker compensation
or unemployment check because some liberal didn't think
he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
It's noon time, Joe needs to make a Bank Deposit so
he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured
by the FSLIC because some liberal wanted to protect
Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the
banking system before the Depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten mortgage
and his below-market federal student loan because some
stupid liberal decided that Joe and the government would
be better off if he was educated and earned more money
over his lifetime.
Joe is home from work, he plans to visit his father
this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets
in his car for the drive to dad's; his car is among
the safest in the world because some liberal fought
for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood
home. He was the third generation to live in the house
financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers
didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have
electric until some big government liberal stuck his
nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.
He is happy to see his dad who is now retired. His dad
lives on Social Security and his union pension because
some liberal made sure he could lake care of himself
so Joe wouldn't have to. After his visit with dad he
gets back in his car for the ride home.
He turns on a radio talk show, and the host keeps saying
that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. (The
host doesn't tell Joe that his beloved Republicans have
fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys
throughout his day.) Joe agrees, "We don't need those
big government liberals ruining our lives; after all,
I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take
care of themselves, just like I have.
2004-2007 - Scott County DFL